Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
