great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
