I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
