i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
