Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
