doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
