Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
