I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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