..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You ruined the universe
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
