btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
