just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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