Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize