is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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