you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My vagina just recognized that song.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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