So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
