she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public