FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Quick, to the slutcave!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ