This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Randomize
