i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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