Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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