u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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