Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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