I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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