from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
