Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
