I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
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