if i can run in heels then i can drive
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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