I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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