Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
