There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Holy sore nipples Batman
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
