I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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