Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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