She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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