Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
