Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
