Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
