just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
