Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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