if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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