i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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