Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
