Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
