mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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