i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's shark week go big or go home
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