we have pet lesbian snakes
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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