He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
