I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
