he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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