If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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