dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
