I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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