hotel room ftw
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I got inside last night via doggy door
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
