guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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