Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She bit a glass in half.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
