I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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