Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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