While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
