Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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